ANNNND We're Back!

Don't deny it.

You missed my crazy students all summer, didn't ya?

Well lucky for you-

we're almost back. 

Monday marks the dawn of the 2012-2013 school year... and I'm sure there will be ghetto fabulous stories to be told!

In the meantime, I'll be at mind-numbing meetings about useless things we already know.

And although I'm loving the free breakfasts and lunches... maybe we should redistribute that money and give it to the teachers for their non-existent classroom budget... ?

No really- we have $0 for our classroom.

Zip. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

Just an idea.

But in good news- we have a new principal!

Let's hope this one isn't caught with a prostitute and marijauna.

Oh what?

Did I not tell that story?

Well it's a good one...

involving prostitutes and marijauna.

You get the jist.

Super classy.

We didn't have a principal since November of last year.

You can probably google it and get all the nitty gritty details.

Made for an interesting first year of teaching :)

But it's gonna be a great year!

(Even if it does involve waking up at 5am everyday... lame...)

Only Two!

 After this post- there will be only two more posts like this left!

That is... until after the summer.

Good news!

 I've re-signed a contract to work at North Shore.

Feels good.

I love it there. 

The kids make me laugh- they make you laugh...

it's a good place.

Speaking of laughing,

here are some of my favorite moments from March.

Enjoy!

10.
This one's not very funny... just shocking.
This is what I deal with on a daily basis.
One of my students is gone A LOT.
She has two kids and is always in trouble with CPS.
She was gone for weeks and weeks.
 When she finally returned she said she'd been out because of Chlamydia.
Yep.
That's an STD if you didn't know.
(I had to look it up- not gonna lie.)
She stayed for a few days and then was gone for weeks and weeks again.
When she finally returned she said she'd been in jail for prostitution.
So sad.
I sometimes just want to bottle these kids up and take them home with me.
Show them what a normal safe life would look like.
Poor thing.

9.
Another sad one...
While girls were dressing out, I had a conversation with some girls still in my classroom.
One was talking about a cut on her leg...
I asked her how it happened.
"A knife cut me while I was sleeping."
"Why were you sleeping with a knife??"
"Ms. B- we sleep with knives under our pillows."
"What the? Why?"
"You never know what can happen in the night."
"Girls that's not normal!"
"Ms. B- we're black."
"Black, white, yellow, red, blue- I don't care! You shouldn't have to sleep with a knife under your pillow! That's not how you should have to live your life..."

Again- I wish I could adopt them all.

8.
Ok let's talk about funnier things!
After returning back from Spring Break and St. Patrick's Day, we had a day where our power went out.
We spent three hours with our 3rd period class sitting in the hallway,
(because there are no emergency lights in my room)
and we chatted.
We were talking about Spring Break and one girl got this really scared/worried look on her face and said that her Spring Break was terrible because of St. Patty's Day.
"I don't like leprechauns, Mrs. Brame. I couldn't watch TV all week because of the leprechauns."
I had to hold back my laughter because she was dead serious.


7.
Teaching a dance combination one day and a student raised her hand...
So we stopped for her, so she could ask her question.
I turned around and listened to the question; which went like this...
"Mrs. Brame- don't old men have worms?"
"Umm... uhh... ehhhh..."
I don't even wanna know where she gets her information.


6.
Best compliment ever...
I wore a yellow shirt-
"Mrs. Brame- you look like sunshine today."
Made my day.

5.
Getting back from Spring Break was hard.
I was torn on what unit to do next.
I wanted to do modern/contemporary but had heard horror stories from other teachers.
I had nightmares.
Oooooh the nightmares....
But I went ahead and started my modern/contemporary/creative dance unit...
(way too many names for such a genre!)
AND they are LOVING it!
I've been so surprised!
They are SO good during my classes; I am astounded.

4.
"Mrs. Brame do you know what an ostrich is?"
"Yes..."
"Isn't it a Spanish flamingo?"
"I don't think so....?"
"No, but isn't an ostrich and a flamingo the same thing?"

You tell me...

3.
It's first period.
First girl walks into class for the day, huffy and out of breath.
"Ms. B- do you have any alcohol?"
"Ummm come again?"

Is this how they all start their day?
No wonder they're crazy.

2.
One day while waiting for the lunch bell to ring, a most interesting conversation arose.
Two girls were talking about drugs...
asking each other when the LEGAL age was to do drugs.
Dumbfounded with mouth hanging open, I had no response.
One of the other students piped up most seriously, "Pretty sure it's 21."

"BAH! GIRLS! It's NEVER legal to do drugs!
Drugs are ILLEGAL!
ALWAYS!"

1.
Ok this one isn't MY story but it is SOOO hilarious I just had to share.
One of my friends teaches in a neighboring school district, with similar students.
Her first day of school she was taking roll and saw the name "Gonorrhea".
Shocked and confused, she asked the girl how her name was supposed to be pronounced.
"It's Ga-nora."
"Ooohh... how'd your parents come up with that name?"
"Well  my mom saw it on her medical records at the hospital and thought it sounded cute."
Super cute :)

And here are the stinkers sweethearts that make my days so fun.

They did a Broadway unit and had to dress up in character...

thought I'd share.

There was West Side Story, Grease, Chicago, A Chorus Line and The Music Man.

 2nd Period

 3rd Period

 4th Period

 6th Period

7th Period

 

Another Top Ten

Can Christmas break REALLY be next week?

Oh man I've been counting down the days.

I swear all the students are hopped up on goofballs or something... Well... Knowing my students- they probably ARE on some type of narcotic...

But that's not the point of this post!

I've almost made it through my FIRST half year of teaching. 

The next six months should be easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl, right?

In the meantime... Here's another top ten...

10- I think we have something like 50 zillion APs at this school. And needless to say- I don't know all of them yet. My classroom is exiled back in the corner where no one roams. So when I DO decide to venture out (to the front office perhaps to check my box) I ALWAYS get stopped by an AP.

"Whatcha doing??"

"Get back to class!"

"Lemme see your id badge!" 

*sigh*

Ughhhh... I'm a teacher. 

It's gotten so bad that half the time I eat my lunch leftovers cold kuz I don't want to walk past the APs to the teacher's lounge to warm it up.

Pathetic, I know.

9- Cockroaches like my room. I thought I was an "ok" bug killer. But I CANNOT handle the crunch of killing roaches. CAN. NOT.

8- My room was smelling funky one day (hey I showered, ok- you can't blame me) and a student walks in... "Ughh Ms. B! It smells like BUTT and CORN CHIPS up in here!"

I never knew those two smells went together.

7- We had a lesson on performance and smiling (kuz everyone looks at the ground and scowls!) so we practiced our smiles. I saw a lot of these... And they were sincerely trying.

Smiling big means you have to either close your eyes because your smile takes up your whole face....

Or open your eyes open as WIDE as you can to balance the HUGE smile on bottom.

I had to contain the snorts and fits of laughter.

6- One of the B-boys came into my room and asked for a favor...

"Ms. B... Do you know how to wasp?"

"Wasp? Is that a dance?"

"Yeah, you know- wasp."

"Is that some new dance craze like the wobble?"

"No, no... It's with a partner. It be like... 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3...."

"OOOHHHH you mean the WALTZ?"

Bahahahaha

7- Girls are wearing these all the time... They're fake. No lenses.

Remind me how this is cute?

Is it a "Beiber fever" thing?

 

6- I tried playing Christmas music the other day. Epic fail. Apparently the only acceptable Christmas music is by Justin Beiber. 

I swear.

He's taking over the world.

 

5- I'm apparently behind with the times. Students were talking about life and started telling me a story about "Kendall Jenner." When I asked who that was I got jaws on the floor and looks of complete disgust.

"Where have you BEEN, Mrs. B?? LIVIN' UNDER A ROCK?!?!"

And I thought I knew my pop culture.

Wrong.

 

4- No matter how many times I go over that a leap is from ONE foot to the OTHER I still get hopping arabesques...

 

3- My students keep journals... And they write various responses to my questions in their journals. I get a lot of hilarious answers... But this one in particular made me pee my pants.

2- I love saying "Hi" to my students outside of my classroom as they walk down the halls with their friends AND  completely ignore me... Like they didn't see me? 

Cracks me up. 

Oh the joys of being an insecure teenager.

 

1- One of my favorite moments... I announced that we were going to have a "Thanksgiving Celebration" for that Friday before thanksgiving break, and my students freaked out! (with excitement)

"Mrs. B- that's what we's got food stamps fo!" 

"I be taking my momma's food stamp card and we be havin' the flyest thanksgiving party evah!" 

Needless to say- we had some pretty rockin' food :)

 

Merry Christmas!! 

Schooling...

The weeks are FLYING by!

I can't believe that Thanksgiving break is in two weeks... 

not that I'm counting down the days... 

but lets just say it will be nice to have a week long break.

Really nice.

My students continue to crack me up...

SOOO here is another "Top Ten" list from the past month.

10- My student informed me that she has a girlfriend.

Awesome. 

Apparently it's the cool thing to do these days?

9- I've learned to NEVER again use a song I personally like for one of their dances...

I used this song for their ballet dance (because I LOVED it... yes that's past tense)

Now I skip it on my iPod because I start doing tendus and plies and shouting at kids.

8- One of my students told me she worships devils and bad spirits.... 

made for an awkward Halloween party.

7- I have a student named "Katy".

Pretty normal name, right?

I thought I was pronouncing it right... until I heard one of her friends call her "Cat-ee"

I've been saying it wrong all year.

Don't I feel like an idiot....

6- When it hits 60 degrees around here my students FREAK out!

They show up in boots, scarves and mittens and tell me that it's "too cold to dance".

Bahahaha.

5- During our ballet unit, we were over at the barre doing some exercises and I had turned on some popular music instead of the ol' classical stuff.

One of my students started doing funky things with her arms and neck and I started to panic in my head THINKING that she was having a seizure!

Well... it wasn't quite a seizure...

she told me she was "feeling" the music.

That's why you need a dance class, honey.

4- I've been having issues with them taking TOO long to change.

But I've finally found the problem.

Skinny jeans.

They LITERALLY can not get them off in five minutes.

3- A few weeks ago they had to write down their OWN ideas for choreography.

What kind of dance would it be? What music would you use? Etc...

One girl wrote down that she would do a "hip hop" dance... 

and "Mrs. Brame" would be her inspiration....

As flattering as that was- I think she's gonna be a little disappointed in our Hip Hop unit when she discovers Mrs. Brame is a total white girl. 

2-  Multiple times a day I see girls hitting themselves on the head!

Just full on smacking their heads with the palm of their hand!

I thought this was a funny way to relieve stress or frustration...

BUT turns out if you have a WEAVE in your hair 

(which most girls do)

you can't itch your head... thus the hitting themselves to relieve the itch.

Who knew? Not me!

1- My FAVORITE part of each day...

I put a song on the stereo to warm-up and INDUBITABLY someone will yell,

"AH! Mrs. B! This be MY saawwng!"

Love it.