Oh my goodness.
Everyone please pray that May flies by.
These crazies are CRAZY!
I could go on and about being pushed to my patience boundaries, being cursed at, lied to and pretty much spat upon... but I'm sure you know that all comes with being a high school teacher.
All I have to say is- I may have given my high school teachers a hard day or two... but I NEVER acted like some of my students.
And for that- those teachers should praise my name forever.
That's all I'm tryin' to say.
That's all.
10.
"Mrs. Brame I was GONE for the past three days and you gave me a zero!"
"Well you missed assignments..."
"But I was absent..."
"But you didn't do them whether you were absent or not."
"But I wasn't here so I shouldn't have to be responsible for those."
The struggle is real.
I honestly can't handle the stupidity anymore.
9.
The lock on my door was broken for a couple of weeks, so I couldn't unlock the door.
Thankfully I have two doors.
Or unthankfully...
I put a very bright, loud note on the broken door saying "Please use other door. This one is broken."
Clear enough?
Every class period... bang bang bang bang bang bang.
"Go around!"
Bangbangbangbangbangbang
Students: "Mrs. Brame! Why you locking us out?"
Me: "Read the sign!"
Students: "What sign? Ohh.... so we have to use the other door?"
We're in high school my friends.
Please be worried about our future leaders.
8.
Have you ever opened the door to your students locker room so fast that you hit someone in the head with the door and given them a concussion?
I have.
7.
Spring fever is real.
It's alive and kicking.
I've had five students in the past two weeks tell me they're pregnant.
Oy.
6.
During our choreography unit- some girls struggled with motivation.
Me: "Alright girls let's get working. You should have a minute of your dance completed by now."
Student: "How long does it have to be?"
Me: "Two minutes."
Student: "What if I show you how I can eat a cheeseburger in two minutes? Does that count?"
5.
Student: "Mrs. B- can I absorb this class for extra credit?"
Me: "Absorb? or Observe?"
Student: "Its the same thing, right?"
4.
I recently dropped my phone and got a small crack on the side.
Student: "Mrs. Brame I noticed your phone has a crack on it."
Me: "Yep..."
Student: "Was it a sober or drunk drop? Because small cracks usually happen when you're drunk."
I have no words.
How do they come up with this stuff?
3.
I recently had an enlightening conversation with a student who's pregnant and a student who's girlfriend is pregnant.
The topic was insurance.
Student: "Yeah I been to the doctor. My momma took me up to the doctor. Can you believe it- we had to pay $25 just to see the doctor! And THEN we had to pay for our prescription! I told my momma, "Momma- quit your job and get this for free!" But she too embarrassed to get on Medicaid."
Me: "Well good for her for working to pay for it!"
Student: "No way Ms. B.... she needs to get Medicaid and Food Stamps and live like a normal black woman."
She said it. Not me.
You wonder why stereotypes exist?
Come spend some time with my students.
2.
During Jon's preparation for his defense I told my students about it, trying to explain its magnitude AND that I wouldn't be to school for half that day.
Me: "So he'll be defending his PhD at Rice and I won't be here tomorrow..."
Student #1: "Oh wow Miss... so he's in a lot of trouble?"
Student #2- "He has to go to court?"
Me: "Do you know what a PhD is?"
Student #1: "That's like a really serious crime, right?"
I guess you could say that....?
1.
The comments about being pregnant have been hysterical.
It is quite apparent that they know nothing.
Yet, somehow they're the ones having kids...
"How far along are you? Three months? WHAT? You've known for that long and haven't TOLD US?!?!?!"
Maybe they don't know they're not all my BFFs?
"Was it planned?"
Hahahahaha you have no idea.
"Mrs. Brame I can't dance because I'm pregnant... sooo I'm going to have to sit out for the rest of the year."
Sorry honey- that one is NOT going to work. Did you forget that the teacher who's demonstrating EVERYTHING is pregnant, too?
"Well Mrs. Brame, when I was pregnant, I was bigger than you were."
Well Mrs. Brame doesn't eat hot Cheetos for lunch everyday. Maybe that has something to do with it?
"Have you had an ultrasound? Oh yeah if you can see the form of the body that means it's a boy because boys grow faster than girls..."
"Can we be it's God Aunts?"
"MRS. BRAME!!! You can't be doing the splits! The baby will FALL OUT!"
The end.
Pray for these children through May.
They need help.
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